BOTH of them?!? Really?!?

OK, seriously, has this happened to you, dear reader(s)? I woke up yesterday morning with BOTH hands asleep and then flopped and flailed around in a panic attempting to shut off my alarm. I finally managed to silence it with my chin. That, ladies and gentlemen, is truly a Monday morning.

I realize that my first posting in many months should probably be just a touch more scintillating than my bizarre thrashing about like a poor beached manatee, but there you have it.

Fortunately, the day was to get momentously better, as UM, WB-A and I all took in a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, courtesy of the wonderful PB. The show was great -- Regis was on, what more needs to be said -- and it was so cool to see the behind-the-scenes goings-on (I'm setting a record for hyphens today!). I was happy to see that Conan stands and listens to the band, kind of swaying back and forth a little. I guess I thought he'd be on his Blackberry or something during the musical act. He was great, the show was really fun, and then the lovely and talented TD joined us for a delicious sushi dinner. AND _ this is unbelieveable _ PB treated us all! That was just so generous of him.

You see, people, amazing things can happen to you _ even when you wake up with squid hands.

Laurel wreaths all around!

I have two winners (one win per entrant, please) in my impromptu haiku contest! (See comments to post below for all entries.)

First, HarleyQ, with:

No guilt, please, my dear

What use the cilice without

Nude Paul Bettany?

Second, Diva, with:

Boring is a blog

Focused on diapers and poo

Oh wait, that is mine...

Diva also wins for most lyrical:

Stop when the jasmine

Blossoms after the rainfall

And sleep in the grass.

HarleyQ's first entry inspired me to write thusly:

Mmmm….naked Silas
is so very delicious.
Discipline me, Paul!

Prizes TBD _ but rest assured the Nobel committee has been alerted.

Should I wear the cilice?

I have no excuse, like HarleyQ and her schoolwork -- I have just been, well, I guess lazy is a good word to describe it. I just freeze up, feel boring, and thus suffer from a kind of paralytic state that prevents me from blogging properly. Blogoralysis, I believe it is called. Look it up, people! I was inspired, however, by a haiku left by Sir Chesfly du Canada on Lady HarleyQ's blog. A cresting seagull just careened by my window, and I responded thusly:

Seagull

So beautiful in flight
Much less so when scavenging
For bones in the trash.

Now it is your turn, vast blogreading audience o' mine! Send in your best haikus in the comments, and I will post them all (all 3 of them, I'm guessing!) in a future entry.

Ah, as to Trader Joe's -- sadly, nothing there to report. I have not yet attempted another excursion there _ but you will be the first to know, my darlings!

Just be glad they didn't publish the wedding photo....

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) _ It was rare combo of fast food and fairy tale romance.
A Grand Island couple gobbled up a Wendy's menu of hamburgers, baked potatoes and chili and Frostys at their rehearsal dinner Friday night _ a nod to where their love bloomed five years ago. The couple met at a Wendy's on State Street in Grand Island.
Bob Hays and his family thought having fast food for daughter Beth's rehearsal dinner before her marriage to Daniel Deida was the perfect surprise.
"We just wanted to re-create the place where they met and started dating and their relationship started and that was romantic for them," Hays said.
Five of the Hays family children have worked at the Wendy's for a combined total of nearly 14 years. [I feel my cholesterol rising exponentially just reading this.]

And you thought YOU were having a bad day...

I think Samuel L. Jackson planted this item....

(Charleston, W. Va.-AP) June 2, 2006 - The much-talked-about movie "Snakes on a Plane" doesn't open until August, but Monty Coles doesn't have to see it. He's lived it.
At about 3,000 feet in the air on Saturday, he discovered a four-and-a-half-foot black snake peering out at him from the instrument panel of his Piper Cherokee.
He'd already been preparing to land in southern Ohio after a flight from West Virginia.
He tried to swat the snake, but it just fell to his feet under the rudder pedals, and then darted to the other side of the cockpit.
So, while flying the plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the snake behind its head with his other hand, even as it coiled around his arm.
Next, he told the control tower he needed emergency landing clearance, and that he had "one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane." [Is this not a GREAT title for a country song? I must record it.]
He says he was cleared right in.
Coles made a smooth landing, then posed for pictures with the snake, before letting it loose.

=======================================================

Seriously, this is one bad-ass clerk! She is WAY too dedicated to her job...

SOUTH SALT LAKE, Utah (AP) _ A man accused of not paying for his Pop-Tarts had a troubled getaway.
First, the clerk at the convenience store ripped the man's shirt off as they struggled when she confronted him for pocketing the toaster pastries Friday, police said.
Then after the man punched the clerk in the stomach and made it out the door, he was hit by a pickup truck in the parking lot. Police said he got up and kept running _ into the path of a minivan while he was crossing the street. He got up again, but didn't make it far.
"It knocks him to the ground. He gets up and again continues to run, but responding police officers caught up with just a short distance later and he was taken into custody," police Capt. Tracy Tingey said.
Police said the man suffered only minor injuries and refused medical treatment.
George King, 20, was booked for investigation of robbery.

Linkage!

Arrgh! Long time no post, peoples. Sorry about that _ heartbreak will do that do a body. I'd prefer not to blog about it at the moment _ but thanks to all my friends for helping me get through this very rough time.

Anyhoo, this one is all about fun links _ just right for a rainy Tuesday, eh? ("Eh" is included for my loyal Canadian reader.)

http://www.themorningnews.org/
An online magazine with a well-chosen and succint list of links on the right side of its homepage. A few top news stories, some cool regional ones, and some just fun and weird ones. Usually has a link to a cool mp3 or video every day, too. Plus, their staff writers _ especially Todd Levin _ are wonderful.

http://mythstory.blogspot.com/
A hilarious blog by a former Daily Show writer and very funny comedian, Chris Regan. Especially good on Mondays for the "Monday Morning Cup of Hot, Steaming Mythstorical Perspective".

http://www.cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/
All cupcakes, all the time. Lovely gooey food porn.

http://cuteoverload.com/
A classic; I look at this one when life is really getting me down. They're all about offering "an overwhelming amount of cuteness to fill your daily visual allowance". So true.

http://www.airfarewatchdog.com/new-york/
OK, this one is more of a service-type link -- but it's a great site and you can sign up for the newsletter that covers all of the NYC-area airports. They monitor the airlines’ hidden fare wars and unadvertised, short-lived sales and “fat finger" typo fares.

http://www.gothamist.com/
Great all-around NYC site -- different entries cover news, weather, restaurants, theater, and just general happenings.

Trader Envy

<==People checking out who are not me! Lucky Bastards.

I valiantly attempted to buy groceries (novel concept!) at Trader Joe's in Union Square last night...and it was like it just openened! The line was down the block at 7pm on a relatively balmy Monday night. Geez louise. I need an assistant to go food shopping for me!

I did, however, manage to make it to their wine store _ it's so wonderful! I bought an organic red for $5. $5?!?!? That's what ONE beer costs in most Manhattan bars. I had some last night, and I must say it's pretty tasty.

I also went by this awesome tea place called Tavalon (http://http://www.tavalon.com/) -- everyone must go and check this out! It's teeny-tiny, but I had the best tea I think I've ever had there. It was a white tea (full of anti-oxidants!) blend that also had mint and "sweet Korean plums" in it. Seriously delicious. They have a DJ, people! At a tea place! All in all, not a bad way to spend my time NOT grocery shopping.

It's been soooooo long!!

Dear devoted reader,

I am truly sorry for having been away from this blog for so long. If anyone has a cat o' nine tails handy, I will atone properly.

I had a lovely and relaxing rainy weekend this past weekend. I was busy NOT reading both my book club book (Microserfs) and my book review book (Success through Failure: The Paradox of Design). It was very exhausting doing all of that avoidance! I had to watch both "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" on TV, sprinkled with bits and pieces of "Pretty Woman". Now whenever I see Harry Potter I think of Wendy's cousin Martha, who, when she saw him shirtless in the last movie, leaned over and said to Wendy in a sexy growl: "Mmmm....Harry HOTTER!"

I did see a great band, the Moonlighters (http://www.blissblood.com/index_moonlighters.html) on Friday night with my friend Nancy and her friend Trudy. Seriously, all of my reader (Tara -- any interest?) should all go and see them the next time they're performing. They are amazing!!

OK - enough for now, clamoring public. Go forth and enjoy the semi-lovely weather!

SASYA,
D.S.

Quote of the day: "On behalf of the New York Police Department, I bring you the head of Dionysus," Kelly told Consul General Antonio Bandini in a ceremony at the Italian Consulate on Park Avenue.
--Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly on returning a remarkable piece of stolen loot: an antiquity depicting the Greek god of wine. The antiquity was returned last week after police determined it had been stolen from a museum in Italy more than two decades ago.

Stuffed -- and stuffed up!

I am all stuffed-up today and at work. This is wrong. Plus, they ("they") are forcing me to WORK while at work, so it's doubly wrong. Urgh.

I did have a very nice weekend before the Attack of the Sinuses invaded; I saw all of the Oscar-nominated animated shorts and live-action shorts and that was very fun indeed. I highly recommend doing this if you can! So much fun -- and you'll be so far ahead in any office Oscar pool! My favorites were "Badgered" about a Badger who just wants to sleep and "Out of Time" about a psychologist who finds he has only 6 weeks to live. Ursula, Tara, Wendy and her new beau Jamie were at the screening as well. Went for yummy Italian afterwards with Tara and Ursula.

Sunday I froze my ever-expanding arse off going into Manhattan to meet Holly for tea. Delicious tea can be had at Podunk in the East Village, people. Everyone should go -- immediately. Then had yummy vegetarian food at Counter -- I would seriously be a vegetarian if I could there every day! They also have delicious organic cocktails (seriously!) wine, and beer. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

And how could I forget the delicious dinner Wayne and I had on Friday at Clinton St. Baking Company! Delectable crab cakes and a muy delicioso cava that was a sparkling pinot noir! I have the name written down -- must find and buy cases of, if possible.

I have really eaten well this weekend! After this Fat Tuesday, I am going along with Lent for a time and trying to really cut back. Must excercise, yadda yadda yadda.