Laurel wreaths all around!

I have two winners (one win per entrant, please) in my impromptu haiku contest! (See comments to post below for all entries.)

First, HarleyQ, with:

No guilt, please, my dear

What use the cilice without

Nude Paul Bettany?

Second, Diva, with:

Boring is a blog

Focused on diapers and poo

Oh wait, that is mine...

Diva also wins for most lyrical:

Stop when the jasmine

Blossoms after the rainfall

And sleep in the grass.

HarleyQ's first entry inspired me to write thusly:

Mmmm….naked Silas
is so very delicious.
Discipline me, Paul!

Prizes TBD _ but rest assured the Nobel committee has been alerted.

Should I wear the cilice?

I have no excuse, like HarleyQ and her schoolwork -- I have just been, well, I guess lazy is a good word to describe it. I just freeze up, feel boring, and thus suffer from a kind of paralytic state that prevents me from blogging properly. Blogoralysis, I believe it is called. Look it up, people! I was inspired, however, by a haiku left by Sir Chesfly du Canada on Lady HarleyQ's blog. A cresting seagull just careened by my window, and I responded thusly:

Seagull

So beautiful in flight
Much less so when scavenging
For bones in the trash.

Now it is your turn, vast blogreading audience o' mine! Send in your best haikus in the comments, and I will post them all (all 3 of them, I'm guessing!) in a future entry.

Ah, as to Trader Joe's -- sadly, nothing there to report. I have not yet attempted another excursion there _ but you will be the first to know, my darlings!

Just be glad they didn't publish the wedding photo....

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) _ It was rare combo of fast food and fairy tale romance.
A Grand Island couple gobbled up a Wendy's menu of hamburgers, baked potatoes and chili and Frostys at their rehearsal dinner Friday night _ a nod to where their love bloomed five years ago. The couple met at a Wendy's on State Street in Grand Island.
Bob Hays and his family thought having fast food for daughter Beth's rehearsal dinner before her marriage to Daniel Deida was the perfect surprise.
"We just wanted to re-create the place where they met and started dating and their relationship started and that was romantic for them," Hays said.
Five of the Hays family children have worked at the Wendy's for a combined total of nearly 14 years. [I feel my cholesterol rising exponentially just reading this.]

And you thought YOU were having a bad day...

I think Samuel L. Jackson planted this item....

(Charleston, W. Va.-AP) June 2, 2006 - The much-talked-about movie "Snakes on a Plane" doesn't open until August, but Monty Coles doesn't have to see it. He's lived it.
At about 3,000 feet in the air on Saturday, he discovered a four-and-a-half-foot black snake peering out at him from the instrument panel of his Piper Cherokee.
He'd already been preparing to land in southern Ohio after a flight from West Virginia.
He tried to swat the snake, but it just fell to his feet under the rudder pedals, and then darted to the other side of the cockpit.
So, while flying the plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the snake behind its head with his other hand, even as it coiled around his arm.
Next, he told the control tower he needed emergency landing clearance, and that he had "one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane." [Is this not a GREAT title for a country song? I must record it.]
He says he was cleared right in.
Coles made a smooth landing, then posed for pictures with the snake, before letting it loose.

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Seriously, this is one bad-ass clerk! She is WAY too dedicated to her job...

SOUTH SALT LAKE, Utah (AP) _ A man accused of not paying for his Pop-Tarts had a troubled getaway.
First, the clerk at the convenience store ripped the man's shirt off as they struggled when she confronted him for pocketing the toaster pastries Friday, police said.
Then after the man punched the clerk in the stomach and made it out the door, he was hit by a pickup truck in the parking lot. Police said he got up and kept running _ into the path of a minivan while he was crossing the street. He got up again, but didn't make it far.
"It knocks him to the ground. He gets up and again continues to run, but responding police officers caught up with just a short distance later and he was taken into custody," police Capt. Tracy Tingey said.
Police said the man suffered only minor injuries and refused medical treatment.
George King, 20, was booked for investigation of robbery.